Awakening of the real Whiskey...

This is the first post for this new adventure. I should have started writing again immediately after I said I would move from the old blog to this one. But life gets in the way even for our best made plans. I am the perfect example of this.

I have been gone for a while due to trying to deal with my own personal Hell. On my own, and in the only way I know how, throwing myself into my work and forsaking everything about myself in order to get my mind off of the obvious of what was wrong. I deal with these obvious things in the quiet of my mind when I know for a fact I am alone.

Good news is that I am finally ready and willing to let my self completly heal. I am finally ready to seriously date again and continue to try find the one that will not only make me happy, but also be healthy enough, mentally and physically, in his own right to allow himself to be happy as well.

I need a partner for my life, not a dictator. Nor someone who will make me feel less of a person tom make themselves achieve some kind of higher being at someone else's expense. I just won't be that person anymore.

What I have discovered and learned so far...

I am far better without Brian than I ever was with him.

I would rather have my family broken as it may be... than to have a bunch of lieing, backbiting, evil people telling me for 4 years how they loved me and cared for me. Where are they now?

I will never get the time I wasted on him back nor the love and the parts of myself that were given to him. I just wish I had that for the one that will/or does truly love me.

Shedding the darkness that has been bestowed upon me is not an easy task... still working on this.

I will probably NEVER trust anyone fully again.

That I AM... the most remarkable, loving, generous, hard working, resilient, and kind person that I know.
That I AM... More beautiful than what can outwardly be seen. There is more to me, more beautiful facets and colors, like a diamond than most can see.
That I AM... Strong Enough to take whatever comes at me and still be standing with dignity and grace while others fall and wither away. The proof is right here. I am still alive and still sane.


I am loving the me that I am discovering.